11, 10, 9 . . . to acknowledge . . .
What's this silence about... its not that I am trying to be a bitch... things got tough...
My family had a loss, on Wednesday I felt like I was drowning, I felt alone, I felt scared, I felt like my world was crumbling.
The first half of this year was so incredible, the second half has been full of bad timing for a lot of things to happen... its has felt like two sides of a coin.
It has been for a while now that I go to bed at night and I keep repeating to myself... its not that bad, it wasn't that bad... just so I can wake up and do it all over again...
Omar told me to stop saying that to myself and acknowledge that I am at a tough moment in my life and accept it for what it is, to just acknowledge that it is actually happening and that it will pass.
So I did and it got very dark in here and I cried like a baby... I cried like I haven't cried in 2 years... and it felt like the End of the World.... but then there was silence ... my cats were still here, my puppy was still here, my house was still here, my husband was still here and the hard work that I have put in my body for this competition is still here... and I started feeling a little better... one foot in front of the other, one step at a time...
I tend to make stupid decisions when things like this happen... thankfully I have my rock Omar to remind me that I do not have to be my past anymore... and that I can wait until I have more food in my belly to think about the things that are important in my life right now...
And so I move forward, strong and unstoppable, my last week to come...
My family had a loss, on Wednesday I felt like I was drowning, I felt alone, I felt scared, I felt like my world was crumbling.
The first half of this year was so incredible, the second half has been full of bad timing for a lot of things to happen... its has felt like two sides of a coin.
It has been for a while now that I go to bed at night and I keep repeating to myself... its not that bad, it wasn't that bad... just so I can wake up and do it all over again...
Omar told me to stop saying that to myself and acknowledge that I am at a tough moment in my life and accept it for what it is, to just acknowledge that it is actually happening and that it will pass.
So I did and it got very dark in here and I cried like a baby... I cried like I haven't cried in 2 years... and it felt like the End of the World.... but then there was silence ... my cats were still here, my puppy was still here, my house was still here, my husband was still here and the hard work that I have put in my body for this competition is still here... and I started feeling a little better... one foot in front of the other, one step at a time...
I tend to make stupid decisions when things like this happen... thankfully I have my rock Omar to remind me that I do not have to be my past anymore... and that I can wait until I have more food in my belly to think about the things that are important in my life right now...
And so I move forward, strong and unstoppable, my last week to come...
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